Agh!

I couldn't fall asleep last night until 1 am. I kept wondering why I signed up for the 3-Day. Kind of a 'what have I done?' panic attack. To be fair, my fears become irrational at night. They always have. I could casually worry about something all day, but at night that same issue becomes so distressing that my breathing becomes shallow and my mind won't relax. It's not like I didn't give this a lot of thought. I've been mulling this over for months. But last night I kept focusing on the negatives: $2300!; 3 days!; 60 miles!; 4 days without my kids!; a tent!; port-a-potties!; fundraisers!; what if it rains?!; 20 miles is excessive!; what if I get hurt?!; how will I raise all that money?! I finally fell asleep after I resolved to tell Jennifer and my team that I've reconsidered. I'll help them raise the money so they can walk, but I just can't do it.

Then I woke up this morning and wondered what all the fuss was about. Sure there's a lot to be done and it won't be easy. But after it's all said and done, I'll be able to say I did it. We did it. And I gained a little perspective. I realized there are worse things than all those negatives I was thinking about last night. Things like chemotherapy, radiation, and death.